lessons learned

over the past few months,

i have learned a lot about a lot.

i started becoming a person i dont want to be.

i let someone else influence my

actions, vocabulary, friendships.

i honestly dont know why.

regardless of why though,

i am ashamed of who i was becoming.

i have been bearing a lot of weight on my shoulders.

other peoples drama, stress, problems.

and it took me far to long to realize

that i have a life of my own.

and as much as i wanted to just be

a "good friend,"

i was hurting not only myself,

but others who were around me.

today i finally made the realization

that i cant do this anymore.

i cant let one person who really,

is just a glorified bully

bring me down anymore.

its not worth it.

its hurting me and my family and my life.

my stomach has literally been in knots

all day long.

and i am to the point where i would just love

to be able to move far, far FAR away from here.

women are cruel.

2 faced.

selfish.

uncaring.

brutal.

and i am tired of being associated

with such crazy people.

i just want to have good friends

who appreciate and respect me.

who dont have to put me down

to make themselves feel better.

i am by no means a perfect person.

or friend.

or wife.

or anything.

but unlike some people,

i have compassion,

and a kind heart,

and i am forgiving of others.

always.

i definitely have learned

a very valuable lesson through all of this.

and i will take it with me 

for the rest of my life,

and especially the rest of my time as

a military wife.