lessons learned

over the past few months,

i have learned a lot about a lot.

i started becoming a person i dont want to be.

i let someone else influence my

actions, vocabulary, friendships.

i honestly dont know why.

regardless of why though,

i am ashamed of who i was becoming.

i have been bearing a lot of weight on my shoulders.

other peoples drama, stress, problems.

and it took me far to long to realize

that i have a life of my own.

and as much as i wanted to just be

a "good friend,"

i was hurting not only myself,

but others who were around me.

today i finally made the realization

that i cant do this anymore.

i cant let one person who really,

is just a glorified bully

bring me down anymore.

its not worth it.

its hurting me and my family and my life.

my stomach has literally been in knots

all day long.

and i am to the point where i would just love

to be able to move far, far FAR away from here.

women are cruel.

2 faced.

selfish.

uncaring.

brutal.

and i am tired of being associated

with such crazy people.

i just want to have good friends

who appreciate and respect me.

who dont have to put me down

to make themselves feel better.

i am by no means a perfect person.

or friend.

or wife.

or anything.

but unlike some people,

i have compassion,

and a kind heart,

and i am forgiving of others.

always.

i definitely have learned

a very valuable lesson through all of this.

and i will take it with me 

for the rest of my life,

and especially the rest of my time as

a military wife.

its been a while..

its been a while since i last blogged.

ive been keeping myself super busy

with taking & editing photos.

i would say that its been going pretty good!

i was a little unsure of myself for a while

because a very rude & judgmental person

decided it would be a good idea

to be completely hateful about

my wanting to do photography.

but that person is out of my life now,

and that i am thankful for.

i dont want to surround myself

with selfish, inconsiderate people like that.

but contrary to what 

she thought would happen,

its been going really well 

and i havent had any complaints yet.

so, i'd like to show you some of my photos

that i have taken within

the last couple of weeks :)

isnt this little girl so adorable?

ohmygoodness.

she was a little ham for this photo shoot.

i never thought i would love 

taking pictures this much.

Its really a win, win for me.

i love doing something

that makes people happy

and i love their reactions

when they love their photos.

aaaand, i get a little extra money,

so thats always good :)

Maternity Photo Session :)

so yesterday i had my very first 

maternity photo shoot.

i was SO nervous.

i've never given direction to anyone

or told them how to pose 

for a picture.

it was definitely something that

was way out of my comfort zone.

but even through that inner struggle,

i think they turned out very well.

i literally spent all day editing them.

so here's a couple of them :)

if you wanna see more,

you can go here :)

and "like" my page!

photography :)

so as of yesterday,

i decided to make my own little business :)

not that i'm any professional,

but i'm going to start taking/editing photos

for families that live on post.

i'm pretty excited about it.

though i did get my first negative comment

on my idea to take photos today.

but lucky for me,

i cut that person out of my life a while ago.

so it really wasnt a surprise.

but other than that,

everyone has been super supportive

and i really cant thank people enough for that.

it means so much

when people have your back

on something that you have interest in.

so i started up a facebook page

for my photography business.

you can find it here :)

and then you can go and "like" it...

if ya want :)

thursday photo session with aubrey

so my awesome friend nicole

made aubrey a tutu and matching bow :)

so we decided to do a little photoshoot

and here's a few of the pics that i took..

and edited :)

isnt she just adorable :)

hi :)

tutu tushy

black and white :)

nicole and aubrey :)

and my absolute favorite!

shes probly the prettiest little girl ever.

yeah, ever.

sometimes this is hard..

i find myself going through different phases 

as an army wife.

sometimes i really love being here in VA.

i find myself always being very thankful

for the life that we have.

i love that i get to spend all day with my kids.

and i really try to not take that for granted.

but sometimes,

it gets really hard being in this house all day.

like today for instance,

james had to take my car to work.

and while theres no place that 

i have to go to,

it really stinks knowing that i cant go.

and when im stuck in the house,

i tend to start feeling a little down and sad.

like missing my mama a little more than usual.

missing my friends back home.

esp my friend teresa 

who is going through some hard times.

i really wish i could be there for her.

its hard not having those people with me.

knowing that i cant just see them whenever i want.

having to wait months before i can visit.

feeling my heart break a little each time 

when cayleb asks "wheres geenah?"

dont get me wrong,

i know that we are so blessed here.

im very lucky that james doesnt have to deploy

or leave us for any amount of time.

i know there are a lot of military wives

who are thousands of miles away 

from their family and friends.

tons of military families 

who have their loved ones deployed.

and i am so thankful that i get to have my husband here.

but that doesnt really make it any easier

 to be away from home.

i miss the familiarity of it all.

anyways,

i'll get out of this rut and back into routine.

hopefully the sun will shine tomorrow

and it will be nice and hot outside

so i can take the kids to the pool.

we need to get out of this house.

also, i think that getting into an excerise regime 

would really help me feel better all around.

but thats probly one of the hardest things 

for me to get into.

and thats my own fault.

well, thanks for listening to me feel sorry for myself :)

rain, rain go away.... but not really :)

woke up this morning to 

gloomy skies

wet ground

and a very grumpy 2 year old.

yay for me, right?

so i believe today will be one of those

take it easy,

not do anything,

work on my blog

days.

though i did vacuum already.

so i think that counts as productivity for the day.

so i think our day will be spent

watching tangled,

reading green eggs and ham

and eating grilled cheeses in like 3 hours.

i mean who knows,

maybe i'll get a text or call 

from someone who is wanting some company..

but im not bankin on it.

because most people probly feel the same way i do

about rainy days..

they are meant for laziness.

dont you agree?

oh monday

well folks,

its monday again.

which means its the start of another long week. 

this morning ive already vacuumed and mopped.

now i have to wash aubreys bottles

and figure out what to make my kiddies for lunch.

then who knows.

i thought about going to the pool,

but sometimes its just so much effort.

i mean, 

not only do i have to get the kids ready,

but i have to get all of their stuff in a bag

and pack snacks.

then when we get there its just me keepin up with 2.

and then trying to leave is even more of a hassle.

thats mostly my fault though

because i like to change them out of their suits 

in case they fall asleep in the car on the way home.

and 90% of the time thats what happens.

so i havent quite decided yet if i'm up for the pool today.

as of now im sitting here blogging

and cayleb is watching cars

(so the floor can dry)

and aubrey is sleeping.

ive yet to figure out what im gonna make for dinner tonight.

thats always my least favorite part.

i get tired of making the same things over and over again.

honestly, if i had it my way

we would go out to eat every night for dinner.

i love to go out to dinner.

definitely my favorite thing to spend money on.

but alas, we cant do that very often.

oh james' birthday is this saturday.

still trying to figure out what we are gonna do.

anywho, 

maybe i'll figure out how to spice up my blog a little.

cuz i still dont know what im doin.

so, until next time..

by yall :)

my love hate relationship with payday

i love payday.

for about 2 seconds.

i love to see the money in the account..

and then poof!

its gone. 

and then, 

i hate payday.

went to target today for like less than 10 things.

spend $50.

fifty!

i mean really?

ugh.

then to the commissary only to spend like $100 more.

and then home to pay bills.

ew, bills.

now we have a whole 2 weeks to go before i can sorta love payday again.

depressing, yes?

i think so too.

on a happier note,

i got cayleb a "cars" potty chair today

and im so super excited about it.

most likely way more excited than he is.

so we shall see how that one goes.

and then this morning cayleb woke up after aubrey did,

came downstairs and when he saw her

he said,

"oh hi bobby"

hehe.

i thought it was really cute.

and when shes doin something shes not supposed to do

he says,

"bobby! NOOO!!!!"

makes my day how adorable they are :)

and thats all!

my very first blog:)

first things first.
you should know:
1. i don't use capitalization when i type.
not because i don't know how, but because i just dont feel like it :)


2. i am a smiley using girl. 
i think they let people know that i have a "happy tone" when i'm typing.


3. i have never blogged before, 
so please forgive me if its super boring and dumb.


well, now that we have that out of the way,
i guess we can get started :)




i guess i can start this blog off with a little bio if you will :)


i am a 24 year old who looks like a 16 year old.
i get a lot of dirty looks for older women when i am out in public with my children.
personally, i find it amusing at how judgmental people can be.
i am super blessed to be able to be a stay at home mommy.
i love being home with my kids everyday.
i love playing susie homemaker and cleaning and cooking.
i like my husband to be able to come to home to a clean house and yummy dinner every night.
speaking of my hubby,
hes in the army (obviously)
and he has been in for about 3 1/2 years now.
we love it really.
its hard being away from family and familiarity but all in all its a blessing.
james (my hubby) is a 68 whiskey.
he is a medic and he works at the hospital here on post. 
hes really amazing at his job and we are definitely going to be a career army family.
though i love the army life..
i am definitely not your typical army wife. 
i dont do fundraisers or bake sales or outings to meet other wives..
its just not my thing. 
not that im all anti-people or anything.
im just really shy and i dont have that "hooah" personality.
but i truly admire the army wives out there who are serious go getters.
im not a germaphobe (sp?) 
or a lover of organic things or cloth diapering.
but, i do recycle.
:)
i am a florida girl born and semi raised
and i miss home a LOT.
well, thats probly a lie.
mostly i just miss my mom and a few choice people.
florida holds a lot of drama that i would just rather avoid.
as of late, i have been interested in going to cosmetology school.
but its looking like this isnt the right time for me to go.
unfortunately.
but maybe after the first of the year, things will be different.
as for my children,
they.are.amazing.
i just love them more than anything.
my oldest, cayleb, has so much personality and hes only 2.
and he cannot stand it if he thinks hes in trouble..
just breaks his heart. 
and my sweet girl aubrey is just 8 months old,
but thinks shes a princess.
she is a definite diva but a wonderful baby,
and i cant wait to see how she changes and grows.




well, i guess thats about it for now.
i dont really know what to say in these things but, 
i think that was a good start :)