sometimes this is hard..

i find myself going through different phases 

as an army wife.

sometimes i really love being here in VA.

i find myself always being very thankful

for the life that we have.

i love that i get to spend all day with my kids.

and i really try to not take that for granted.

but sometimes,

it gets really hard being in this house all day.

like today for instance,

james had to take my car to work.

and while theres no place that 

i have to go to,

it really stinks knowing that i cant go.

and when im stuck in the house,

i tend to start feeling a little down and sad.

like missing my mama a little more than usual.

missing my friends back home.

esp my friend teresa 

who is going through some hard times.

i really wish i could be there for her.

its hard not having those people with me.

knowing that i cant just see them whenever i want.

having to wait months before i can visit.

feeling my heart break a little each time 

when cayleb asks "wheres geenah?"

dont get me wrong,

i know that we are so blessed here.

im very lucky that james doesnt have to deploy

or leave us for any amount of time.

i know there are a lot of military wives

who are thousands of miles away 

from their family and friends.

tons of military families 

who have their loved ones deployed.

and i am so thankful that i get to have my husband here.

but that doesnt really make it any easier

 to be away from home.

i miss the familiarity of it all.

anyways,

i'll get out of this rut and back into routine.

hopefully the sun will shine tomorrow

and it will be nice and hot outside

so i can take the kids to the pool.

we need to get out of this house.

also, i think that getting into an excerise regime 

would really help me feel better all around.

but thats probly one of the hardest things 

for me to get into.

and thats my own fault.

well, thanks for listening to me feel sorry for myself :)